The End…

There are a few things that I’ve been trying to avoid for quite some time, like retrieving the lost items that have accumulated under my bed, weighing myself, saying goodbyes, and packing. And writing this particular blog post.

I have now successfully rescued three ink pens, one notebook, and one Kleenex packet from the filth underneath my bed. I weighed myself and found that I have neither gained nor lost weight. I’ve had to say some difficult goodbyes, one of which was my roommate, whose presence in our room I am missing already. I’m almost finished packing, and I might even still be able to zip my suitcase tomorrow. And now I am forced to write this entry, which I’ve been dreading because the task is so daunting.

I’ve had this entry on my mind since posting the last one, trying to think of how to express my current feelings, reflect on the whole semester, and convey all the cultural tidbits that I haven’t written about yet. All that on top of an obsession with not wanting to forget a single thing. I was paralyzed.

Right now I feel pretty similar to the way I felt immediately prior to leaving home for Ghana. A mixture of sadness and excitement paired with an inability to focus on anything at all. My attention is divided between travel practicalities, looking ahead to being home, and executing my Ghana “lasts.” Over the course of the semester my friends and I have displayed a wide range of Ghana-leaving coping mechanisms. First we wanted to see Ghana—to travel everywhere and do everything possible. We also wanted to understand Ghana—every cultural nuance and sociological pattern. We eventually gave up on trying to see and understand everything and by now, at the very very end, our attempts have gotten more desperate. A common tendency is towards buying Ghana—frantically shopping for last-minute gifts with the unspoken desire to have every type of Ghanaian craft represented. We’re also trying to eat Ghana—I’m trying to eat enough red-red and pineapple to make up for its future absence in my diet. And we’re also trying to photograph Ghana—nothing is too ordinary to take a picture of.

My biggest regret this semester has been not developing lasting friendships with the Ghanaian students. I don’t know why this aspect of my experience has been such a failure, but at a certain point I sort of gave up on the idea. Our program met and made friends with each other before any Ghanaian students moved into our hostel. I had an American roommate. Ghanaian girls are often shy and it’s difficult to tell if boys are actually interested in being just friends. I always felt like time was not on my side in this regard and remembered my own reluctance to befriend the exchange students at Hendrix because the relationship would be so fleeting.

I also regret not getting involved in volunteering. A lot of people have and they’ve had good experiences. I went to a few different places but had a hard time finding a niche and was overwhelmed by the disorganization and chaos. Later I think I just got lazy and selfish with my time.

I really value the travelling I’ve been able to do. Backpacking in the Volta region and stumbling through Togo and Benin are two of my favorite memories. I think I’ve learned to strike a balance between careful planning and flexibility when things go wrong.

I also appreciate the cohesion of our ISEP group. In orientation, when Theresa used the term “ISEP family” I wondered how much that would really be true. Many people have developed really strong friendships, but none to the exclusion of anyone else. We all look out for each other. If there’s someone we haven’t seen in a few days we notice and ask their friends what they’ve been up to.

I am really looking forward to going home to see all the people that I miss. I’m excited to eat my favorite foods that are not readily available in Ghana and I can’t wait for hot showers, warm covers, and freshly baked Christmas cookies. I’m practically giddy about ice cubes, being able to drink tap water, and not having to wear bug spray every night.

But there are so many things that I will miss about my life here: the beach, fresh pineapple, red-red, the bean lady, Adelaide the porter, the night market, plantains, Coke in bottles, outdoor courtyards, big Star beers for around a dollar, fan-choco, drinking water out of bags, tro-tros, the sounds of the street vendors and tro-tro drivers (Circ-Kanish-Circ-Kanish-Circ-Kanish, Pyuawata, ahple-ahple-ahple, Nice plantain), the general tendency towards helping out poor foreigners, the wild bush that is present even on our relatively well-maintained campus, the grand sunsets, the four o’clock respite from the heat of the day, the cheerful and catchy reggae/hip-hop music that is played everywhere, lizards, markets, buying water out of a bowl on someone’s head…

I think what I’ve learned from this semester will be more clear to me after I’ve been home for a while, but I’ll take a stab at it now anyway. I’ve gotten a sense of how most of the world lives. The girls and women selling water and rice with the potential for the tiniest of profit margins represent a huge chunk of the world’s population. The American lifestyle—a backyard, a car, hot water from the tap, and air-conditioning for every room—is not normal. Now I really understand why Ghana is called a “developing country”—it seems as if the entire country is under construction.

I’m sure there’s more…I want to write more, but I’ve totally lost my ability to concentrate. I hope to do some reverse culture shock reflections once I get home to conclude, and look out for pictures too as soon as I’m back in fast internet-land. I leave for a night flight to London tomorrow night, then on to Chicago, and then to St. Louis on Monday afternoon. See you soon and thanks for reading!